Tuesday, August 17, 2010

lawak antarabangsa

Come across this email content today.. so funny..enjoys!

Rumput dan Kuda


Seorang guru lukisan sedang melihat kertas lukisan milik pelajarnya yang paling malas.

Cikgu : Lukisan apa yang kau lukis ni, Abu? Kosong aje?

Murid : Kuda makan rumput, cikgu!

Cikgu : Rumputnya mana?

Murid : Sudah habis dimakan kuda, cikgu!

Cikgu : Habis tu, kudanya mana?

Murid : Sudah pergi, cikgu! Kalau rumputnya sudah habis, buat apa kuda tu masih kat situ?

Pengemis Gila

Pengemis : Pak Cik! Kasihanilah saya, saya orang bisu.

Bapak : La? Orang bisu takkan boleh bercakap pulak?

Pengemis : Eh, salah! Orang pekak, Pak Cik!

Bapak : Takkan boleh mendengar?

Pengemis : Eh, bukan! Orang buta, Pak Cik!

Bapak : Takde duit! (Sambil membuka dompet)

Pengemis : Tu ada tiga ratus!

Bapak : Katanya buta, takkan boleh melihat?

Pengemis : Salah lagi! Saya orang gila, Pak Cik!

Demam Malaysian Idol

Di sebuah majlis akad nikah, pengantin lelaki bernama Hassan...

Kadi : Hassan...

Pengantin Lelaki : Saya, ustaz...

Kadi : Dengar baik-baik ya, Hassan... Aku nikahkan dikau dengan si Pondan binti Polan dengan mas kahwinnya RM 80 tunai...

Pengantin Lelaki : Aku terima nikahnya si Pondan binti si Polan dengan mas kahwinnya RM 80 tunai...

Kadi : Sah? (ditanya kpd saksi pertama)

Saksi Pertama : Sah

Kadi : Sah? (ditanya kpd saksi kedua)

Saksi Kedua : Sah

Kadi : Sah? (ditanya kpd saksi ketiga)

Saksi Ketiga : Errrr... Lontaran suara awak tidak jelas... Saya tak dengar apa yang awak cakap... Pitching berterabur ke laut... Jiwa awak kosong... Takde feel... Low note tak sampai, high note takde kawalan... Sepatutnya ditahan... Falseto lemah...
P/S: Kini semuanya ingin menjadi pengkritik...

Wanita dan Pak Cik Tua

Seorang wanita sedang berjalan menuju ke arah seorang lelaki tua yang sedang berehat di serambi rumahnya. Setelah tiba, wanita itu berkata, "Saya tengok pakcik ni ceria aje. Apa rahsia yang menyebabkan pakcik panjang umur dan sentiasa ceria?"

"Takde rahsia apa pun. Cuma saya merokok 3 kotak besar sehari, minum arak, makan makanan berlemak, makanan segera dan tak pernah sekalipun bersenam", kata lelaki itu.
"Wah! Hebatnya pakcik!", kata wanita itu. "Berapa usia pakcik sekarang?
"Dua puluh empat."

Isteri Tersayang

Seorang lelaki telah menginap di sebuah hotel di KL. Terdapat sebuah komputer di dalam bilik hotel itu. Dia pun mengambil keputusan untuk menghantar e-mail kepada isterinya. Malangnya, dia telah tersalah taip alamat e-mail isterinya dan e-mail tersebut telah dihantar.

Di sebuah rumah di Kedah pula, seorang janda baru sampai ke rumahnya selepas pulang daripada majlis pengebumian suaminya. Janda tersebut mengambil keputusan untuk menyemak e-mailnya untuk melihat sekiranya terdapat ucapan takziah daripada saudara-mara dan teman-temannya. Selepas membaca e-mail pertama itu si janda tersebut pun pengsan. Anak lelaki janda tersebut pun bergegas ke bilik ibunya dan mendapati ibunya terlentang di lantai dan dia pun membaca mesej di dalam skrin komputer:
To : Isteri kesayanganku

Date : 16 Mei 2007
Subject : Abang telah selamat sampai
Abang tahu Sayang pasti akan terkejut dengan kehadiran mesej ini. Mereka telah menyediakan komputer di sini pada ketika ini dan kita boleh menghantar e-mail kepada sesiapa sahaja terutama insan kesayangan kita.
Abang telah selamat sampai dan telah menginap dengan aman di sini. Abang lihat semuanya telah disediakan di sini untuk kedatanganmu pada hari esok.Semoga berjumpa denganmu nanti, Sayang. Abang harap perjalananmu ke sini nanti lebih bermakna seperti apa yang telah Abang lalui ketika ini.


Teliti

Sekumpulan pelajar perubatan berkumpul untuk melihat seorang pensyarah melakukan pemeriksaan ke atas satu mayat. Mereka berkumpul mengelilingi tempat mayat itu diletakkan.

"Dalam bidang perubatan, ada 2 kualiti yang sangat penting untuk menjadi seorang doktor", kata pensyarah itu.
"Pertama, kamu semua tidak boleh berasa jijik melihat mayat", katanya. Sebagai contoh, pensyarah itu mencucuk satu jarinya ke dalam mulut mayat, menariknya semula, dan menjilat jarinya itu.
"Sekarang, cuba kamu buat", kata pensyarah itu.
Selepas beberapa ketika, barulah mereka mengikut apa yang mereka lihat. Seorang demi seorang memasukkan jari ke mulut mayat dan menjilatnya. Apabila semua pelajar selesai, pensyarah itu memandang ke arah mereka dan berkata...

"Kualiti kedua yang sangat penting adalah pemerhatian yang tajam. Seperti tadi... Saya memasukkan jari hantu tetapi menjilat jari telunjuk..."
SEKARANG... TUMPUKAN PERHATIAN!!! FAHAM???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope you guys enjoy this.. i am also boring to the maximum today....

Falling In Love

Why do we descent in love? Why do some individuals still think of loving even though occasionally you end up being hurt? Why do we feel void and broken when we are not loved? Why do we love in secrecy? Why do we love somebody even if that person loves somebody else? Love has numerous aspects and is the most tough to explain out of all the words in a dictionary. When we fall in love our sense of reason, decency and dignity at times becomes corrupted. Because of love, we are capable of doing matters that we don't usually do. Love is sometimes reckoned as the destroyer of all other senses apart from itself.


Being in love is a cherished human sensation for it presents that feel of sharpened emotions. Love is a self-serving feeling in a sense that it acknowledges no other emotion that itself. Love all the time brings pain. But pain makes you better, and the strength that you get from it renders you the ability to go on with life, and life turns into something worth existing for, all because of love. Love doesn't support any reasons. You dont love a person because of the affairs he can extend to you and also not because of the things that you may do for him.

Loving a person implies loving them whoever they may be, may it be awful or great. To love somebody is to love them for just what they were before because the in reality, they wouldn't be the same person who captivated your heart today if not for the affairs they did in the past. Loving also means loving a specific somebody regardless of who they will become in the future, for change is inescapable in this universe. This is likewise called by some as "Unconditional Love".

Love isn't about any individual, it always has been about two people, you and your partner. It is about how the two of you can co-exist and bring about the good in each other. Love is silly, love is blind, love sucks and love tears your heart: True, for love does not fit into anyone nor into anything. Love is many things good or bad likewise. But the one great thing about love is its ability to understand. Understanding to the degree where it will allow you to love in secrecy; it also acknowledges the rationality why one keeps on loving individual even if it hurts. It also admits the fact that at times love cannot be reciprocated. Ultimately, Love knows no bounds nor has it any reason. We love because we can

How To Tell If A Guy Likes You - Three Signs He's Keen

How does a girl know if the guy of her dreams likes her ? You spotted him when you were having coffee with your friends.Did he also spot you?Everywhere you go he seems to be but he makes no effort to look at you or speak to you.It all starts to become so irritating just wondering what his next move will be and trying to work out exactly what his real feelings are.
So here are Three key signals that you can count on to know his mind.



1.The way that he talks to you.

When you do finally get to talk to your dream man the way that he responds to you in conversation is a real key indicator of what he really thinks of you.When you are talking he holds eye contact with you and really listens intently to each word that you are saying.When he talks with you he doesn't look aimlessly around the room or casually glance at other girls,you are the only female in the room in his mind.Is he asking questions about your life that will reveal what he really wants to know,like the following.

1.What do you do in your spare time

2.What kind of Movies do you enjoy

3.What are your favourite foods

If all of his questions seem to be leading to finding out if you have a significant other and are in a relationship then you can be certain that he likes you.

2.Body Language
Does the guy try and sneak looks at you when you are looking away from him?Ask a friend that is with you to stand elsewhere in the room and then intentionally look away from the guy of your dreams whilst you friend monitors where his eyes are moving too.If he really does like you he will not be able to resist looking your direction and moving his eyes up and down your body.Guys can not control their public behaviour in the same controlled and calm way that women can.

When you are talking to him does he fidgit a little and occassionally touch his nose with his hands?Does he run his hand over his mouth area and does he stand front on to you as if he would just love to pounce.
3.Gossip To People You Know
Guys are just like girls in this way and you can guarantee that when he really does like you he won't be able to resist asking questions about you and commenting to friends that he finds you just a little bit hot.You will soon beginn to hear little snippets from your friends about the things he has been saying or he will actually tell one of your girlfriends that he thinks you are a really nice person."guy talk for sizzling hot".

The bottom line is that when a guy likes you it is really easy to know because even if he is shy that awkwardness will show when he is around you.The best thing that you can do is stay cool and calm but also act just a little reserved and shy around him so he gets the courage up to make his move.Sometimes being a little flirtacious is fine but be careful not to flirt with other men in front of him as it could make hime think you are taken or keen on another guy.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Dog's skin allergy ~~

Unfortunately, the instances of pet allergies are constantly rising. As with human allergies, animal reactions to air-borne allergens, foods and man-made products are become more and more frequent. In fact, it is believed that approximately one in seven dogs is affected by at least some form of allergy. Typically, canine allergies are indicated by a reaction of the skin, which leads to dryness, hives and itching. Obviously, the most effective way to treat canine allergies is to identify the substance that is causing the irritation and remove it, but this is not always as easy as it sounds.

Types of Canine Allergy

Of course, there are many things that can cause allergies in dogs, but canine allergies are typically divided into four categories.

-Allergies caused by fleas, insects and other parasites; known as flea allergy dermatitis.

-Allergies caused by the inhalation of pollen and other allergens; known as canine atopy.

-Allergies caused by foods.

-Allergies caused by direct contact with cleaning products and other substances that can cause irritation.


Often, these allergies will result in the development of hives, which are raised lumps on the skin that are incredibly uncomfortable and cause severe itching. Although hives in of themselves are not harmful, the subsequent scratching and biting can lead to legions of the skin and large sores, which can become infected very quickly. The resulting health problems can be extremely serious and, in some cases, fatal.

Symptoms to Look Out For

Obviously, the main symptoms to look for in your dog are excessive scratching, licking or biting. Sometimes, owners will notice that a dog is particularly preoccupied with the legs or paws. However, any part of the body can be affected. Other indicators include redness on the dog's tummy, poorly conditioned coat and flaking skin.

In some instances, an allergy may lead to further problems, such as ear infections. Obviously, if left untreated this may lead to irreparable damage, so it is wise to seek the assistance of a veterinarian as soon as possible.

Of course, treating the symptoms of the allergy, such as an ear infection or itching, will only provide a short-term solution. In order to avoid repeated allergic reactions, an owner (with the help of a vet) will need to identify the precise cause of the allergy and ensure that contact with that substance is reduced as much as possible.

What is Causing my Dog's Allergy

As mentioned above, a veterinarian will be able to help identify the cause, but in some instances, it is a case of trial and error. Owners can help by being vigilant to changes in the dog's behavior. For example, noting when the itchiness begins, whether he, or she, has recently been for a walk, been fed, or bathed. Although this information may not help ascertain the exact cause, it will be incredibly helpful in ruling out certain substances.
Food allergies in particular are very difficult to diagnose and solve, because symptoms may not begin until several hours after eating and can last for days or even weeks. Therefore, unfortunately, preventing an allergic reaction to food can often be a case of repeated trial and error.

Treatment Options

There are several treatment options, including prescribed medications and holistic approaches. Your veterinarian will obviously be able to advise on the best course of action. Depending on the type of allergy your dog is suffering from, a vet may prescribe antihistamines (similar to the ones used in human allergies), allergy shots or a course of corticosteroids.
If your dog seems to have particularly sensitive skin, you may like to try using a hypoallergenic dog shampoo, swapping your cleaning products to natural, non-toxic alternatives and adding more Omega-3 to the dog's diet.
If you notice the symptoms of an allergy in your dog, it is important to seek help from a veterinarian, because it may be an indication of further health concerns and, if untreated, an allergy can cause great distress and discomfort to your pet.
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